


I'll Do My Best

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Apologies, Cunnilingus, F/F, Reconciliation, Spoilers for Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, Vaginal Fingering, complicated feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:29:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26077237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: The Doctor was gone for longer than expected. Yaz isn't sure how to feel when she shows up again.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63
Collections: Fandom Giftbox 2020





	I'll Do My Best

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shopfront](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shopfront/gifts).



> I had ton of fun writing this one. I hope you enjoy it!

When Yaz opened her front door, the Doctor was just standing there. 

“Yaz!” The Doctor stood there with her arms wide open, her expression equally so. 

“Doctor,” Yaz said, and she must have said it louder than she meant to, because there was the sound of her mother coming up behind her.

“I’ve missed you, Yaz,” said the Doctor, and she hugged Yaz tight enough that Yaz wheezed. “But I came back.”

Yaz felt herself relaxing into the hug in spite of herself. There was the familiar scent of the Doctor - engine oil, beeswax, warm skin. She gave the Doctor a tentative squeeze back, and then remembered that she was, in fact, still mad. 

Yaz pulled free (with a little bit of regret - the Doctor smelled like home, like whatever soap the TARDIS left around) and stepped back. She caught the smile on the Doctor’s face faltering, and her stomach did a little flutter. “So you’re back,” she said, her tone cool.

“Yaz,” said her mum, “what’s the Doctor doing here?”

“She’s just leaving,” said Yaz. 

“I am?” The Doctor frowned. “But I only just got here.”

“I’ve got a shift to go to,” said Yaz. 

“Oh,” said the Doctor. “Well, it’s been a while, so I was thinkin’ -” 

“You probably were,” Yaz cut in. “I’ll see ya tonight, Mum,” she said, and she kissed her mother, then closed the door. 

* * *

The Doctor was practically jogging to keep up with Yaz, as they both made their way down the hallway, towards the lift. "So," the Doctor said, "fancy a trip in the TARDIS?"

"I've got work," Yaz said. She was very pointedly ignoring the butterflies in her stomach, and the way her palms were starting to sweat. 

"Well, yeah, but... time machine. We could nip out, then come back right before your shift starts," the Doctor said. She stopped when Yaz stopped, and pressed the "down" button for Yaz. 

"I don't think that's a good idea," Yaz said. She shoved her hands in her pockets. "I've already got a reprimand. Don't wanna be late."

"You won't be late," the Doctor assured Yaz. "Gettin' much better at piloting the TARDIS now; she's been a lot more cooperative!"

"So you came back here five months after all the business with the Cybermen for other reasons, then?" Yaz kept her tone flat.

"It hasn't been five months," the Doctor protested, then she faltered. "Has it?"

"Yep," said Yaz. The lift _ding_ ed, and they both jumped. 

"Oh," said the Doctor. "Sorry 'bout that. I was, uh, busy."

"Evidently," Yaz said. She stepped into the lift, and she didn't look back to see if the Doctor was coming in with her.

(Of course the Doctor was coming in with her.) 

"So you don't want a ride in the TARDIS, then?" The Doctor sounded... dejected. "Just... I was thinking of going on a trip, and Graham and Ryan can't come neither." She cleared her throat, and now she looked embarrassed. "And, um. I thought... y'know, it might be... might be nice, having it be just you 'n me. Going. Together. On a trip."

"Without Graham and Ryan?" The lift seemed awfully small, with just the two of them standing in it. _I could reach out and grab onto the sleeve of her coat_ , Yaz thought. She hadn't been very hands on with the Doctor, before the other woman had up and disappeared, but... well, she'd daydreamed about it often enough. 

"Just us girls," said the Doctor. "Haven't done a thing that's just for girls, what with still gettin' used to being a girl."

"Right," Yaz said, and now she was floundering a little bit. The Doctor was looking at her with a soft expression. 

"So you'll do it?" The Doctor was perking up like a puppy dog, and Yaz tried to hold on to her annoyance. 

"Let me do my shift first," Yaz said. "You can pick me up after work." 

"Brilliant," the Doctor said, and she gave Yaz a tight hug. "You won't even have to do much packing, since a bunch of your kit is still in the TARDIS!" She was still holding on to Yaz, tight enough that it was almost uncomfortable. 

"Did something... happen?" Yaz cautiously put her arms around the Doctor, and gave her a squeeze. 

The Doctor sighed, and seemed to relax, leaning a little harder into Yaz. She was so _soft_ , and that was unexpected, because the Doctor always seemed so strong, so full of muscle. Yet somehow, she was so soft against Yaz. 

_She still left you for five months_ , whispered some angry, hurt part of Yaz's mind. _You should at least get her to apologize for that._

The Doctor must have sensed her stiffening up, because she pulled back. She was looking into Yaz's face, and she was starting to frown. "Everythin' alright, Yaz?" 

"It's fine," Yaz said stiffly. The doors opened, and the two of them made their way out. 

"Want a ride to work?" The Doctor indicated the TARDIS with a jerk of her thumb. 

"Nah," said Yaz. "I wanna get to work on time, not five months later."

That was a mean jab. She could tell that it had gotten some tender spot, because the Doctor winced quickly, but the expression was gone before Yaz could apologize. "Cheers," the Doctor said, and she grinned again. "See ya in a bit, then!" She paused. "Well, a bit for me, a shift for you."

Yaz snorted, but she was grinning a bit in spite of herself. She couldn't really stay mad at the Doctor, could she?

That was the problem.

* * *

It was a boring shift. She sorted out parking disputes, she filled out a lot of paperwork, she stared at the clock. Would the Doctor be there, at the end of her shift? If the Doctor _wasn't_ there, how long would she be willing to sit around and wait? For that matter, how long would the Doctor be willing to sit around and wait? 

She was putting too much thought into this. Why'd she agree in the first place? Yaz rested her chin on her hand, staring unseeingly down at the form, and she nearly jumped out of her skin when a hand landed on her shoulder.

"You're a million miles away, Khan," said McTaggert. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothin'," Yaz said, and she cleared her throat. "Sorry. Got a little lost in thought."

"Your shift is over," said McTaggert. "I think the chief might give you a hard time if you pull another all nighter."

Yaz sighed, and she rubbed her face. "You're right," she mumbled. "Okay. I'm done with my report. Might as well just get home." She stood up, and she stretched, arms over her head. Her back ached, her head pounded, and her shoulders were as stiff as boards. 

Why was she even so angry? She knew logically, that time travel didn't necessarily mean punctuality. She'd been late to enough shifts and family events to know that sometimes that just... happened.

Whatever. 

It was hard to hold on to her righteous fury, in the face of all that logic. Yaz sighed, and made her way to the locker room. She'd change out of her uniform, she'd get in the TARDIS, and things would be just like old times.

Sort of. 

* * *

The TARDIS was standing on the corner by the police station, and the Doctor was standing in front of it, beaming. 

"Yaz!" The Doctor threw her arms open wide, her fingers wiggling. 

That... was more than Yaz was used to. By a long shot. She wasn't sure what to make of it. 

"You seem happy to see me," she said, as she made her way towards the Doctor. 

"Aren't I always?" The Doctor dropped her arms when she saw that Yaz wasn't coming in for a hug, and looked faintly disappointed when Yaz stepped back. 

Several different responses came to Yaz. A few too many of them were... well, mean. When had she turned into a person who was mean? 

Maybe somewhere in those five months. 

Although that was mean, too. 

Yaz sighed, and she gave the Doctor an awkward smile. "This'll be fun," she said, and she mostly meant it.

The Doctor smiled, and it was so bright that it made Yaz's chest hurt, just a little. "This is gonna be _brilliant_ ," she told Yaz. "Absolutely brilliant!"

* * * 

The TARDIS was exactly how Yaz remembered it. It even smelled the same - custard creams, engine oil, ozone. A shiver went down Yaz's back as she walked through the familiar blue door, and she blinked in the golden light. 

The TARDIS let out a low tone, and the lights briefly flickered.

"Aw, she missed you," the Doctor said, and she sounded faintly surprised. "She really likes you!"

"Does she?" Yaz hugged herself, rubbing her arms as if to ward off a chill. 

"Definitely," the Doctor said earnestly. "She usually makes it known, when she doesn't like someone."

"It's nice to be liked," Yaz said, and her tone must have been a little sadder than she intended it to be, because the Doctor shot her a concerned look. 

"I like you," the Doctor said, and then she cleared her throat, leaning against the console and beginning to fiddle with some control on the TARDIS. 

"Well," said Yaz, and she wasn't sure how to respond to that. _So why'd you abandon me?_ bubbled up from her throat. "So what were you up to, for the last five months?" Was that any better? Probably not, come to think of it.

"Oh, y'know," said the Doctor, and she made a vague hand motion. "Gettin' in and out of trouble." She grinned. "Missed you," she added. "And it hasn't been five months for me." She frowned. 

"How long has it been, on your end?" Yaz held on tight to the console, as the TARDIS lurched again.

"Y'know, I'm not sure," the Doctor said, wrinkling her nose. "Time is a bit... wibbly wobbly on my end."

"Oh," said Yaz. "Well, unfortunately, us humans are stuck on the... very solid, not wibbly wobbly time stream."

"Right," said the Doctor, and she made an apologetic face. "I keep forgetting that."

"At least you could eventually be bothered to come get me, I guess," Yaz said, and she regretted saying it almost as soon as the words had left her mouth. She could see the Doctor's shoulders stiffen, even under the loose fabric of her coat.

"I mean," the Doctor said, and she turned to look at Yaz, "if you don't want to come, you don't have to. I don't want you to feel beholden to me or anything. Hate the idea of anyone being beholden to me. Wouldn't want to be beholden to you." She was rubbing her hands together now, rocking on her heels. 

"Clearly," Yaz said, and that was exactly the wrong thing to say, because the Doctor's face was getting tight. "Because," Yaz said, and now she was starting to talk faster, "you... you just went into that other... place, with the Master, and then you disappeared for five months, and dropped me, and _even though_ you have a time machine and could've come find me a day or so after, you waited for _five months_." She was getting louder too, how about that?

"I didn't mean to -" The Doctor began.

"I know," Yaz said. "I know, you didn't mean to. You were probably off having some _grand adventure_ , maybe having tea with Marie Curie or maybe discovering a new species of... of moth." Yaz's hands were clenched into fists, and her eyes were wet. There was a lump in her throat, and she wasn't going to cry. She refused. 

She was usually better at controlling her emotions than this. And she wasn't the sort of person who exploded at people out of nowhere. Although was this out of nowhere? And did the Doctor even count as "people" in this case?

There was a beat. The Doctor looked at Yaz, and... Yaz couldn't read her face. It was like a gate had come down. 

"I was in prison," the Doctor said, and her voice was quiet enough that Yaz had to strain to hear it, under the groaning and rattling of the TARDIS.

"What?" Yaz blinked at the Doctor, her rage disappearing. 

"In prison," the Doctor repeated. "Remember the Judoon? Big rhino folks?" She cleared her throat. "Well, they, uh, they had a warrant for my arrest. So they showed up and arrested me, and then it turned out that there was some nastiness going on in the prison, so I had to solve that." The Doctor was fiddling with her hands now, cracking her knuckles. "And _then_ , well, uh... there was some... some stuff. On my home planet."

"What kind of stuff?" Yaz asked. Some of the anger seemed to have left her - it was hard to be angry, when the Doctor looked that _dejected_. 

"Stuff that I'm not ready to talk about," the Doctor said flatly. "Stuff about... me." 

"What d'you mean, stuff about you?" Yaz frowned. 

"It's... complicated." The Doctor bit her lip, looking down at her feet, then back up at Yaz. "So," she said, with a forced cheerfulness that set Yaz's teeth on edge, "where d'you wanna go?"

"To bed," Yaz said shortly. "I did a whole shift's worth of work." She turned on her heel, and she made her way back towards the hallway and where she remembered her bedroom being. There might not have been a door there a minute ago, but it was there now, and that was all that mattered, as far as Yaz was concerned. 

"You want some... some company?" The Doctor asked, and when Yaz looked at her, she was... flushing, which was odd. 

"... No?" Yaz wasn't sure how to react to that. Was there a proper reaction to an offer like that? 

"Of course," said the Doctor. "Of course, you're right." She gave a smile that didn't go all the way to her eyes. "Have a good sleep, Yaz," she said, and then she was back to the TARDIS controls. 

_I should say something_ , Yaz said. _Maybe apologize?_

She looked over her shoulder, and she saw the Doctor leaning over the console, twiddling some dial or another. 

_Nah. She'll be fine._

Yaz wasn't sure if that made her feel better, or worse.

* * *

Yaz's bedroom was the same as it had been before she left - it wasn't even dusty. There was her bed - entirely too big for one person, but she'd always loved the idea of sprawling. And there was her wardrobe, and her lamp, and her thick purple rug. Yaz sighed, kicking her shoes off and shrugging out of her jacket. She slung the jacket over the back of her chair, and she sat down on the bed. 

It even smelled the same. In some way, it felt like nothing had changed, while she was gone. It felt like it would be _so easy_ to just slip back into the slot that she'd been in, traveling with the Doctor, following after her with wide eyes and a stomach full of butterflies. But what would happen, if the Doctor up and left again? 

What if the Doctor left for good? 

Yaz unbuttoned her trousers, unclipped her bra. She turned the light off, and she crawled under her covers in just her t-shirt and her knickers. 

* * *

Yaz was woken up by a knocking on the door. She groaned, rolled over, and there was more knocking. Then the sound of the door opening, and she sat up, blinking in the golden light from the corridor.

"Hiya, Yaz," the Doctor said cheerfully. She was backlit by the light from the hallway, and the contrast was enough to make it hard for Yaz to make out any of her features. 

"What are you doing?" Yaz rubbed her eyes, rubbing her face. She had a headache, and her mouth was dry.

"Wakin' you up," the Doctor said. She flipped the light on, and Yaz groaned, squeezing her eyes shut. "You've been sleeping for almost nine hours!"

"Haven't been sleeping well," Yaz said, and she covered her eyes. "Could you turn that off, please?"

"Oh, sorry," said the Doctor, and there was a flick, and the lights were off again. "Why haven't you been sleeping well?" The door to Yaz's bedroom shut, and there was more blessed darkness. 

"My best mate went off with a homicidal maniac and then dropped off the face of the Earth for five months," Yaz said flatly. 

"I mean, I technically drop off the face of the Earth all the time, what with the time and space traveling," the Doctor said, then: "wait, I'm your best mate?" The bed dipped down by Yaz's knee, and Yaz could feel the Doctor's warm body right by her knee. Not as warm as a human's, but still very much _alive_. 

Yaz gave a deep, gusty sigh. "Doctor," she said, "you were gone. Just gone. And I didn't know where you were. Or when you were coming back. Or _if_ you were coming back." Her voice was beginning to get choked up, and oh _no_ , she wasn't going to start crying in front of the Doctor. "You're... you're the best person I've ever known. Maybe the best person I'll ever know. And I dunno what I'd do if you just left me without saying anything. I was so scared..." It was easier to talk about this in the dark. “And I didn’t know if you were… dead in a ditch, or if you were hurt, or if you were.. " She trailed off. 

"Oh, Yaz," the Doctor said, and her voice sounded very kind. There was a hand on top of Yaz's own, and Yaz let the Doctor's fingers slip into her own, her thumb passing over Yaz's knuckles. "I'm sorry."

"I thought you'd left me behind," Yaz said, her voice quiet. She almost couldn't hear it, over the thudding of her own heart. "I thought you left me behind and had replaced me with someone else, or you'd gone and gotten yourself killed, or trapped, or..." 

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said, and she sounded it. "It's been... it's been hard. I've been finding things out. About myself, about... about a lot of things." She was holding on tightly now, tight enough to make Yaz's knuckles creak. 

"What d'you mean?" Yaz was frowning. She wished she could see the Doctor's face, but she wasn't sure if the Doctor would have been able to have this conversation, if she could. 

"You went to Gallifrey," the Doctor said quietly. "You saw it. What it is now. And you met the Master. He... he is my oldest friend." Her voice was thick. "And he killed them. He killed them all, and he turned the planet into ash and slag." Her voice cracked. "I'm sorry," she said, and her voice broke again. "I... I've been dealing with that. And I missed you, I missed you so much, Yaz, when I was in jail I kept thinking about all the things I want to show you, all the places we can go, the adventures we can have." She sniffed loudly, shuffling closer.

"I'm sorry," Yaz said, because what did you _say_ to that? 

"And he knew things about me. Things that... that other people didn't know. And I haven't told anyone. I dunno why I'm telling you, I shouldn't, but -" She cut herself off. "I'm not like him," she said, her voice quiet.

"Of course you're not," Yaz said, and she reached out her other hand, to cup the Doctor's cheek, her thumb against the Doctor's cheekbone. It was sticky with tears, and the Doctor's skin was hot. "You're nothing like him."

"There's... there's other things I know you want to know," the Doctor said, and she sniffed again. "A lot of stuff."

"Please don't disappear again," Yaz said, and she hated how plaintive she sounded.

"I'll do my best not to," the Doctor said, and then her forehead was against Yaz's, her nose cool against Yaz's cheek. Her wet cheek pressed against Yaz's, and then her soft, wet mouth was against Yaz's own. 

Yaz sighed, and she kissed the Doctor. Her cheeks were wet, and the Doctor’s fingers were clinging to the shoulders of her shirt. Her own hands were clutching at the Doctor’s shoulders, balling the fabric up in her fists. 

“I missed you, Yaz,” the Doctor whispered against Yaz’s lips. “I missed you so much, I missed your smell. Isn’t that weird, that I missed your smell?” Her hands were sliding against Yaz’s sides, down towards the hem of her shirt. 

“I didn’t know you noticed my smell,” Yaz murmured, and then she was pulling her shirt up and off, her breasts bare in the cool air. The Doctor’s hands were warm on her breasts, her palms pressing into Yaz’s nipples, her fingers digging into the softness.

“I noticed so many things about you,” the Doctor murmured, and now she was straddling Yaz. Her mouth closed over the curve of Yaz’s ear, sucking, and Yaz’s back arched. 

“I’m… glad I’m… noticeable,” Yaz murmured, but what kind of answer was that? 

“I’m sorry I left you for the five months,” the Doctor said, kneading Yaz’s breasts clumsily. “I really meant to come back… sooner. I was trying to get a track on you, and it was supposed to only be a few days.” 

“Thank you,” Yaz said, because she wasn’t sure what else to say. She didn’t know if she was still mad, or if she was reeling from all the kissing, or the shock of seeing the Doctor again, alive and well. 

“Let me make it up to you,” the Doctor said, and then she was gently applying pressure to Yaz’s shoulders. “I’ve been wantin’ to do this for _ages_.” She pulled the blanket off of Yaz’s lap, and then she was wriggling between Yaz’s legs, resting on her stomach. “Why aren’t you wearing any trousers?”

“I was having a nap,” Yaz said, and her own voice sounded distant to her own ears. She rested a hand on top of the Doctor’s head, as the Doctor nuzzled at the inside of her knee. “Doctor?”

“Yeah?” The Doctor’s fingers hooked under the waistband of Yaz’s knickers.

_This is very fast_ , Yaz thought dazedly. “Are you… sure?” 

“I’m sure of a lot of things,” said the Doctor, She tugged on Yaz’s knickers. “D’you not want to? Do this, I mean.” She paused. “Am I misreading the situation?”

Yaz lifted her hips up, and the Doctor pulled her knickers down and off, tossing them to the side. What was she agreeing to? Was this a good idea? 

“I guess not,” the Doctor said, and she sounded happy as she wriggled closer. She was still wearing her coat, and it rustled as the Doctor got herself more comfortable. 

“I want this. You.” Yaz licked her lips, “I want you so badly. Please.” _Should I ask her to take her coat off?_

Then she stopped thinking anything else, as the Doctor licked all along her labia, up to her clit. “I forgot how much I love doin’ this,” the Doctor murmured, her voice vibrating along Yaz’s labia, across her skin. “You’re so warm. Humans are so warm.”

“Doin’ my best,” Yaz murmured, although did that make sense? She shuddered, as the Doctor began to lick her in earnest, tongue swirling over her clit. Yaz’s thighs were spreading wider, and she rolled her ups up, as the Doctor grasped her hips.

“That’s good,” the Doctor said when she came up for air. “Excellent. Absolutely… mmm.” Then she was back to licking, and Yaz just held on. 

It all blended together; the Doctor’s lips wrapped around her clit sucking. The Doctor’s tongue flickering inside of her. The Doctor’s fingers curling against her g-spot. The Doctor’s eyes peering up at her, shining in the darkness. 

“I can feel how close you are, Yaz,” the Doctor said, and her face was pressed into Yaz’s belly. “You’re getting all tense, inside and here.” She pressed a kiss to the soft spot right over Yaz’s navel. “Come on, give it to me. I want to feel it.” 

“Don’t leave me again, please.” Yaz sobbed, and that was entirely too emotional for a moment like this. She should have said something sexy, or maybe something… well, _anything_. 

“I’ll do my best,” the Doctor promised, and her mouth was back on Yaz’s clit, her fingers curling inside of Yaz’s cunt, _just_ the right way. The feeling of being stretched, the intense pressure building seemed to grow tighter and tighter, as she grew ever closer to the edge. 

Yaz came, and she might have been sobbing as the pleasure pulsed through her like a wave, wetness gushing around the Doctor’s fingers and down her cheeks. She was trembling, as the Doctor came up to kiss her on the mouth, fingers still flexing inside of her. 

“I’ll do my best,” the Doctor whispered against Yaz’s mouth, and Yaz tasted herself on the Doctor’s lips. 

“D’you want me to return the favor?” Yaz tugged on the Doctor’s braces. 

“In a second,” the Doctor mumbled. “I missed you, Yaz,” she said, and the sincerity in her tone was enough to make Yaz’s chest ache in the best way possible.


End file.
